Taylor Prentice
SOGO- Personal Narrative
2/21/11
Frances Charteris
Lost?
People lose things everyday: money, homework, backpacks, and everything in-between. These things seem to be very important at the time a person loses these items and can really piss the person off, but all these things can be replaced. Not until you lose something so precious and rare do you realize the insignificance of material things and how little most things in life matter. In my case I lost the person who showed me the light when everything was dark. I lost something that many people spend their entire life’s trying to find. I lost the person I loved and with losing love I also lost a big portion of myself but also gained maturity and a sense of what is real and what really matters in life.
Her name is Jourdan Link, or what we used to say, my other half. We met on Myspace randomly and began to talk. We talked and talked for days, which turned, into weeks and then to months. It got to the point where we texted each other everyday for the majority of the day. She even told me once that we were like yin and yang and that we seemed to complete each other. This is when we decided it was time to meet so we went to see “Drillbit Taylor” and when I saw her I knew she was something special. Two days later I worked up the courage to ask her out to another movie, “Jumper”. I don’t remember the movie very much because I was working up the nerve to deploy my plan. At the end of the movie I told her I had a present for her, a temporary tattoo of a yin-yang where under the directions how to put it on I wrote, in crude handwriting, “will you go out with me”. Of course with how cheesy of an attempt it was, she began blushing several shades of pink and red looked me in the eyes and said, “Of course I will”. We continued to talk everyday, if I woke up first I would text her “Good morning I hope you have a great day, love you” and vise versa. We got to know each other to the point where we knew everything about each other; we knew each other better than our parents knew us. It even reached the point where I could sing “our song” and make her cry tears of joy. It was a perfect relationship for two and a half years; then I lost her.
It came close to our two and a half year anniversary when I began to lose my grasp on her. Who knows what it was that made her lose hope, maybe my restless mind, her still in high school, me in college, my childish mistakes, or maybe she just found something better. There is no way to guess the right answer, only that I was losing the battle. She saved me several times when I was lost and tried to leave her for both selfish and unselfish reasons. She always looked me in the eyes and said that she needed me by her side, but the look in her eyes was all that I needed; I could see the pure love and desire in her steel-gray-greenish eyes. She saved us but then our relationship began to get choppy and our personal lives were hectic as well. Then the tables flipped and she was the one telling me she was lost and needed change. I tried to convince her to stay and showed how much she meant to me but when I looked in her eyes they were cold and empty, I could see her mind was made up. I gave her birthday present to her, got a kiss and then never saw her again after that.
She told me that she couldn’t even be my friend and couldn’t even talk to me and I took this with a heavy heart and accepted it and decided to give her time. Two weeks went by when I found she was in another relationship with a varsity football player at her school, this was the moment my heart was ripped out of my chest and felt alone and lost. Soon after she became a waitress at Hooters and is currently living the high school dream. I lost not only the person I loved, I lost a part of me that I considered the better side of me. More time went by, each day seeming to take longer than the first and everything reminding me that I lost something very precious. Pain, despair, hopelessness, and loneliness are some of the many negative emotions felt after this hard break up until one day I realized it is a part in life that everyone will have to face at some point. I used my broken heart and all the pent up emotion to improve myself, both physically and mentally, and to mature in ways that only love can show you how. It has been about five months to this day when I experienced one of the hardest things, losing someone you love and having no control of the situation which made me lose myself. I would be lying if I said I am no longer lost, but the difference is I’m not depressed that I’m lost; I’m excited not knowing what’s next and continuing to move forward into the great unknown and my path will form step by step.